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Kaiser Patient Stories

I struggled to parent my daughter for several years

Published Sunday, March 3, 2019

I struggled to parent my daughter for several years. When she was four, I got a referral from her pediatrician to the psychology department for assessments in possible areas of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, or other disorders that may be impacting her behavior and leading to extreme meltdowns, night terrors, very late potty training, and cognitive development concerns. The psychologist met with me once to discuss my concerns, then met my daughter for 20 minutes, during which time she was uncomfortable but not displaying any of the concerning behaviors. I was then told I just “don’t know how to parent” and offered a group general parenting class in the middle of my workday. Fast forward five years: it turns out my daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder, several cognitive delays, performs more than two grade levels below her actual grade, and has been referred by her pediatrician yet again for Autism Spectrum assessments. It sure would have been nice if Kaiser would have just done the assessments originally, instead of letting me struggle for five years to manage her behavior. I spent countless nights feeling inadequate because we we were lead to believe we just weren’t good parents.

Santa Rosa